yes i believe in true love , i mean i have to or ill lose all hope.
but i dont believe in love at first site, i think a person has to get to know someone enough and become friends in order to love
though lust at first sight is a different idea :)

 do you think its weird that im 14 and wanna have a baby?
god i dont know maybe i just want someone to love me and not see any wrong? is that selfish?
i already have baby names heh. 
if i have a girl its haliegh anne and if i have a boy its ethan edward 
i think im going crazy but i really wanna have a baby 
i wanna have something so small so delicate so innocent in my arms
i wanna sing to my child i wanna be able to see better in him or her
i dont know what im gonna do about these fellings but i just cant stop felling them right?
i wanna hold something so precious in my arms and say your MY baby i made you 
i dont wanna wait forever. i want a child. 
my parents would kill me. and i dont know of any guys that would wanna sleep with me let alone love me
im fat and noone will ever love me unless i lose weight
so once i loss weight all my dreams will come true :)
i dont wanna be a teenage mother 
so i guess im gonna have to wait
i want 2 or 3 kids and they will all be perfect

 they dont understand how hard this is for me
i dont think i can do it
i havent been there un a month and now they expect me to go back a be ok with it
im not ok with it
i cant be with them they will stare at me 
judge me
gossip about me
and ask so many questions i dont wanna answer
questions i cant answer
i need to escape but i cant noone will give me the oppertunity to get away
i cant stand this feeling i have
its like my hearts been put into a garbage disposal 
i cant breath
i cant speak
i cant cry
i dont wanna do this
i cant do this
im afraid they wont like me
im afraid i will be left alone
they wont understand , how can they if i dont??

im so excited i lost 1 lb yesterday and ive lost 3 lbs in 4 days :)
only 9 more lbs to go by valentines day
i can do this i can acually do this!!!
im excited
well thats it for now
xoxo :)

i feel rele fat
i just want all this blubber to fall of my body/
i dont care what i have to do im gonna be 110 lbs.
thats the only was ill truely be happy about the way i look.
i want guys to notice me and think im hot
i want girls to wanna be me and be jealous
i know this is gonna take some work  but im gonna do it i need to be skinny
maybe ill even get to 100 it depends on how i feel when im 110
i need to escape this body all this fat makes me wanna puke
mabey i will after i eat idk but im gonna go to the gym everyday
wish me luck
xoxo ;)

im happy i ate 580 cals (bad) but burned about 1000
i went to the gym for 40 mins the did the eliptical at home for 30 mins and i did 80 crunches.
im pround tomorrow im gonna eat less and workout more im so glad ive decided to do this i already feel so much better
xoxo